Saturday, 28 June 2008

OH Sh**t, F**K

Mary's visit was wonderful and I fully intended to write about it today, until today that is!

This morning Dolly(my Whippet) and I were lounging in bed discussing the world and its friends when I noticed that Dolly was in urgent need of an manicure!  Dog manicure's exist of a long walk on pavements to file down the nails (it works a treat and would recommend it to humans).  So as I was planning to meet the girls in Portobello  decided that I'd take the dogs and walk.  Also felt this would do me good as I'm looking very lardy at the moment.  No exercise and too much feeling sorry for myself.

Today was hot!  I covered myself in factor 30 put my turban, straw hat and big sun glasses on and set off.  The walk to Portobello is lovely, lots of pretty houses with lovely gardens and leafy pavements.  Dogs fairly irritating.  Especially daughters dog who needs to piss on everything. About 10 minutes into the walk I realised how hot it was, wooly turban under straw hat was not a good idea.  Also forgot to put factor 30 on arms so had to keep wooly cardigan on! Therefore feeling hot and irritable.

Then it happened!!!!!!  Crossing the road and OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!  I bump into a HUGE crush I have not seen for 6 years!  How could fate be so evil!  There was no way I could pretend I was not me or avoid him as we literally collided!  This tiny little voice came out of my mouth with his name.  Sweat was probably trickling from under my sun glasses.  I wanted to be zapped up, zapped down, or obliterated. Anything to not be there. He was lovely and recognised me despite bald head and lardy body.  Thank god he was wearing sun glasses so I could not see the repulsion in his eyes.  His mother has breast cancer at moment so he was kind and understanding. He steered me into the shade and walked with me down the street chatting so comfortably.  I'd forgotten how handsome he was and what a lovely voice he has.  I'd also forgotten how pathetic I can be around a crush!

How could life be so evil.  If only this had happened three months ago when I was looking good. Lovely hair and good figure! Not sweaty!  For Gods sake there's been six years for us to bump into each other so why now?

Outcome!  I went to meet a friend tonight for a drink and guess what!  Put mascara on my 6 eyelashes and pencilled in my 3 eyebrow hairs.  So there is obviously a lesson to be learnt from today.  Although I don't think its the pathetic effort in the make-up department.  will let you know when I find it.

Am still burning with the humiliation of today but have promised myself I'm going to become a goddess once I'm well!!!!!!!!


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