Last December I found a small lump above my left breast and went to my GP. She was basically fairly dismissive and told me to come back in two weeks if it was still there! I left feeling relieved that she was not worried and decided it was nothing to worry about and was not going to bother to go back.
The busy Christmas season came and went then I moved house. I did notice my small lump was getting progressively bigger but still thought it was nothing to worry about. Darling Polly told me here mum gets them all the time and she just pops a pill and they go away! One charming friend told me not to worry it was probably just a bit of gristle!
By the end of Feb my lump was quite large and now visible from the surface of the skin. It looked like my brothers pacemaker! I decided another visit to my charming GP was in order. She did not even look at the lump but thank god she did refer me to the Marsden Hospital for a Mammogram.
My lovely mother and beautiful pregnant sister came with me. I was still convinced it was nothing and was a little worried everyone would think I was being a bit of a drama queen. Having a mammogram is a very funny experience as your boobs are squished flat and ex-rayed. There is nothing glamourous or elegant about the whole process but the women who did it were lovely and made it all seem so normal. During the mammogram the dreaded 'is there a history of cancer in your family' question was asked. My aunt had breast cancer but charming GP had told me this did not count as she was over 70 when she had it. So I said no unless you count my aunt. The did count my aunt!
The lovely doctor then asked me to go back to the waiting room as she wanted to do a scan on the lump. By now I'm getting a little worried. Scan done she tells me the lump is 3cm x 3.5cm! Rather huge then! She also asked me to go back to the waiting room as she wanted to do a biopsy on the lump! Now I'm really worried especially when there is only one other couple left in the waiting room. All the people I arrived with have gone away! Mother and sister are trying to keep my spirits up and the Marsden has the most amazing collection of magazines such as the latest Vogue, Harpers, Interiors; sadly no Take a break or Chat! Even so I'm getting twitchy and wondering why I bothered. Wanting to go home and be with my beautiful babies.
The biopsy was not very nice. They take some tissue from the lump and it left my boob looking dreadful. I do have a picture of it but I'm not going to put it up as the bald picture has upset so many I don't think I can face the wrath of all my girlfriends again! Also its on my phone and I don't know how that works!
After the biopsy she asked me to go back to the waiting room again as another Dr wants to see me. By this stage I'm getting a bit weepy and very very twitchy. Mother and I go into meet Dr Gough. There is also the sweetest nurse there too she is my special nurse and I have here number if ever I need anything. Dr Gough tells me straight away I have breast cancer. I'm a little confused as they have not yet had the results of the biopsy so how do they know? She says its a very aggressive level 3 cancer. She then tells me what going to happen next. Neither me or lovely Mother took in a word of what she said. I was sobbing and mother was trying very very hard to be brave. The I met the famous Mr Gui. He's one of the top breast surgeons in country I'm very lucky he was going to do my opp. He then told me more about the operation. Again I did not take in a word he said.
My lovely sister has an adorable house just around the corner from the hospital so we all went back there. I shook and inhaled two glasses of wine as I made all the relevant calls to work and loved ones. This was probably one of the darkest days of my life. I can honestly say things have got better since then and I've also changed my GP!