Thursday, 10 July 2008

Time again

tomorrow I'm back having my Chemo!  today was my last day at work for quite a while.  I have chemo the a week recovering then two weeks holiday (I booked the flights before I was diagnosed and by total fluke they fall nicely between my chemo) then the next cheom, which is my LAST!  After that I have two weeks radiotherapy followed by a week recovery.  So may not be back at work until September.  I'm still not totally sure as I don't have the dates for my radiotherapy.  

Anyway today was the last day at work for a while.  I have a lovely girl doing my job while I'm away and spent this week happily getting to know her and showing her the ropes. 

I so do have the best job in the world.  Today I got the loveliest bunch of flowers from two of my bar boys.  As well as loads of love and kisses from everyone.  I was so overwhelmed I cried.  Not a good look when you are trying to be a tough club bitch!  Also had a lovely farewell drink with lovely boss ad his family.  I'm actually going to miss work.  Do you know I wake up happy to go to work!  How lucky am I.  The down side is that its all so wonderful I'm convinced someone is going to steal my job.  If I could fix a burglar alarm to it I would, and although lovely girl who's doing my job is lovely I'm very worried she's going to steal it.

As I was on my way home from work I started thinking back over the past few months and I suddenly realised I'm going to miss my cancer when its gone!  Not the nasty side but all the attention I get and the fact its the best excuse you could wish for when you don't feel like doing something.  I think these last months have made me immensely spoilt.  I do believe I've turned into a brat!!!  Recovering is going to be the biggest anticlimax ever!  I've got to have to have a serious plan going forward to stop embarrassing spoilt brat tantrums erupting!  One of my projects while I'm away is to make a game plan for when I'm better.  I'll let you know when I have one!!


1 comment:

mary in devon said...

when i last saw you and you told me you had set up a blog i thought it was a fab idea and sounded fun. however, i wasn't really sure what a blog is. you know i'm a total techno fobe. why you ever employed me is still a mystery on that front? you - "mary here's your computer". me- "ah, it looks like a portable tv and it's blue. does it come in pink? how do i switch it on?". probably why there followed mrs beaton lessons which was most brave and patient of you. so far it's taken me 4 hours to work out how to reply or , sorry 'post a comment'. mind you still haven't done so yet so fingers crossed. i found an e mail you sent me earlier today from ages ago which gave the link to your blog. the e mail was sat in my spammed box and i just found out i had one so that's why it's taken so long. anyways, was very excited and started reading. burst out laughing almost immediately. and then....bust into tears. i guess from just skimming through and picking up on your thoughts and feeling all of which are very varied. obviously as bit of a roller coaster at the moment for you and blub. blub. blub and blub, off i go. sadly was at work at the time and as duty is to recieve incoming calls from customers not really the best time to be getting all emotional. safely at home now. in pyjamas's, tinnie in hand so gonna enjoy reading in full. hope i can send a comment and if i can i'll be tuning in on a regular basis to keep up with your antics. is that the correct term? tuning in? louisa i think the world of you. you are such a beautiful, smart and brave lady i so know you will be just fine and dandy once you kicked this cancer bitch into outer space and beyond. wasn't so sure of your mental state last time i saw you as after a jaunt to the doctors when i was horrendously hungover and spilled my diet coke all over the surgery. kinda erics fault. he kept me up gluggin wine all night at yours. his fault and my glutony. you had the sence to go to bed. but bless you rather than suggest we go for a coffee you suggest we go for a 'crisp white'. was friday and also you know me that well that when i'm hanging i need a hairy dog. didn't quiet expect the next scene of you beating down a pub door calling out 'darlings are you open' whilst stood in the street clutching a fag, dressed in your head scarf. that vison will stay with me forever more. that day was such fun. we were sloshed by the time the hairy dogs and crisp whites had kicked in. bar staff at all bar one totally fell in love with you. then it was george at boots the chemist turn. followed by the young actor in the 2nd pub (can't remember it's name and bit grotty but we needed a wee)and wasn't there a second actor in a flat cap or was he a cab driver? there was finally a cab driver for you. bet he now loves you too. everyone who meets you, loves you. and it's so easy to love you my beautiful brave fun friend. ah, tinnies kicked in then....lets see if this comment thing works then.....